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Danelle Ice is an entrepreneur in Los Angeles and mom of 3. She is the creator of HomeEverAfter.com and SimDanelle.com. Danelle is also known as internet personality SimDanelle, the first virtual person. Danelle is a beauty guru on YouTube, vlogger, blogger, and new media darling. She is a current brand ambassador for for Keurig and previous AMD Tech Mom, Kraft Foods Delicious Byte brand ambassador, and Purex Insider.

23 Comments

  1. Julie
    December 6, 2008 @ 10:19 pm

    We always expected our boys to do chores. They started with picking up toys, then went on to learn how to do dishes, laundry etc. They are now capable grown men who know how to clean, cook, and even bake from scratch! I will someday have some very thankful daughter-in-laws.

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  2. Angie
    December 7, 2008 @ 5:46 am

    I made the mistake of not training my now adult daughter to help out more around the house. She’s now in college and still at home and it’s a struggle sometimes to get her to help. Her room is always a mess. And she doesn’t contribute much with the chores. I will not make the same mistake with my second daughter who is now 3 1/2. I encourage her to help pick up after herself and do things to ‘help’ mom around the house. Sometimes I have to secretly redo things, but that’s only because I am so picky about how things get done. Heck, she may have to take care of me in my old age! haha

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  3. Elliott - 21st Century Dad
    December 7, 2008 @ 1:26 pm

    I have a 14 year old stepson and a 16 month old baby girl. Guess which one does more around the house? You guessed right, the 16 month old.

    Hahah. Just kidding. Our resident teenager has some chores, and he’s more than willing to help out with larger projects. The key in our situation is to play to each other’s strengths. When we were painting some rooms, a couple years ago, the teen took the roller to the walls while I did the trim work.

    Money’s been tight for a while, and one of the first things that gets slashed from the budget is $ for chores.

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  4. Holly Jahangiri
    December 7, 2008 @ 1:26 pm

    “Outsourcing”?

    I did not expect enough of my eldest, when it came to chores, and ironically, it’s something she criticizes me for today (rightfully so). I learned. My son has a few regular chores, and I expect him to help out when asked. Cheerfully and without pay.

    Why would you pay a family member to be…a contributing family member?? Why pay them to learn a needed skill that they will need and use regularly as independent adults? This is part of being a family, and part of growing up.

    Now, I do think it’s right that we paid our eldest to “babysit” her brother (and only if she agreed to do it) – she’s eight years older than he is, but we didn’t space them out to turn her into a built-in babysitter. Child care is OUR responsibility as parents. I don’t have a problem with paying either of them (or letting them work off certain “debts” to us) by doing work that is outside the scope of their usual chores. But it’s a slippery slope and a very short slide from “rewards for chores” to outright bribery.

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  5. Abby
    December 7, 2008 @ 2:12 pm

    My mother in law who comes from a different way of thinking thinks I am horrible with how much I ask of my kids to do as far as housework. After dinner I expect my 5 year old to scrape plates and bring them to her 9 year old sister who loads the dishwasher. My 16 year old is in charge of cleaning the pots and pans and wiping off the counter. My 5 year old also wipes down the table after dinner.

    One day after watching this my mil said wow it must be nice to be queen and sit back and have servants. She looked at my husband and said I never expected you to do things like that when you were growing up! He said yeah it thanks to that I didn’t know how to work a broom until I was 30. We like our kids to be independant and confident ;).

    So I guess you can see where I stand on children and chores!

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  6. Shynea
    December 7, 2008 @ 3:08 pm

    I don’t pay my children to do chores around the house. It is expected of them to contribute if they want any special privileges. (For example, staying up a little bit later on a school night, playing the game during a school night or getting an extra treat after dinner.)

    When I was growing up, I never really had to do chores. I blame it on my mother because she babied me and all of my sisters so bad that I didn’t even know how to work a washing machine until I was 18 years old. I don’t want my children to be like that. I have four sons. My two oldest sons are 7 and 5 and they are responsible for keeping their room clean, wiping off the dining room table after dinner, cleaning the bathroom sink, switching the clothes from the washing machine to the dryer, picking up the livingroom floor among a few other small things.

    I want to teach my sons to be independent. It will make me feel better knowing that I am releasing young men out into society knowing that they can cook, clean and take care of themselves.

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  7. The Happy Housewife
    December 8, 2008 @ 6:21 am

    I outsource most of the household jobs to my kids. I grew up not having very many chores and wasn’t the best housekeeper when I got married because I was waiting for someone else to do it! I start the kids when they are little and increase responsibility as they grow older. Now that I have older kids my housework is minimal, although I still have my share of chores!
    Toni

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  8. Angie
    December 8, 2008 @ 11:04 am

    Yes, we expect our 15 year old to do chores. He has since he was about 5. No, we don’t pay him for those chores. We DO pay him an allowance, but it has nothing to do with his chores. I grew up in a family of 6 children, and chores were a regular thing for us. I can’t imagine how my mom would’ve done it without all of us helping! I hated it back then, but I totally understand it now.

    We are trying to instill in him, a good work ethic, along with the desire to help his wife with chores when he is married. He sees his dad help me around the house, and that is such a blessing!

    I do have a much lighter load because of my son and husband’s help. My only “chores” are doing laundry, cooking meals, and part-time dishes (hubby helps with dishes, and son puts them away).

    With our 2 year old, whom we got at age 18 months through adoption, we have “trained” him to throw his diapers in the garbage, take his dirty clothes to the hamper, and clean up his toys after play. He also “helps” put groceries away, and puts our shoes away (we don’t wear shoes in the house, so we have a shoe rack). I think that this really helps him feel like he is a part of the family. He sees everyone doing something to help, and he wants in on the action. I think he really likes feeling like “mommy’s helper”.

    Our 15 year old doesn’t have less chores during the school year…it’s pretty much the same, year round. He is responsible for: dusting, vacuuming, taking out the trash, putting dishes away, cleaning his bathroom (except the tub), and cleaning his room. He also helps put laundry away. He’s learning to be a good husband and daddy!

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  9. Sheila Gregoire
    December 8, 2008 @ 11:20 am

    Get kids to do chores! Absolutely! I’m with you, Danelle! Even a 3-year-old can fold facecloths or napkins or dust a coffee table.

    I wouldn’t consider it outsourcing, though. That implies it’s your job and you’re passing it on. It’s the family’s job, and you’re the manager who is overseeing it!

    We do pay for housework, but we expect them to clean up their own rooms and do their own laundry without getting paid for that. But I think paying them is good; it helps them be responsible…

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  10. jenny
    December 8, 2008 @ 3:38 pm

    We totally expect chores in our home. We start out very young as well, my kids picked up their toys around 10 months too! I think that if you start out young, then chores will be the “norm” so it’s not like teaching something new out of nowhere some day. This is just what they do, like picking their noses! lol!

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  11. Kati Perrine
    December 8, 2008 @ 8:58 pm

    I am completly for children being assigned chores as well as paying them for those chores. My goal is to teach responible money management to my daughter who is now nearly 2.5. Granted she is at a poinnt where she doesn’t quite get it… but I believe it is a learned habit.

    My daughter does not have any assigned chores at this point, but she does help pick up her toys, put clothes in the hamper, and sort silverware when I put dishes away. She is still in the stage where she enjoys helping me.

    Each week, I pay her $2 in quarters. 4 of the quarters go into a piggy bank marked save.. and will go into her savings account.. and the other 4 quarters go into a spend bank. Eventually she will be able to spend that as she sees fit.. but the whole idea is to learn how to spend money and we will increase the concepts as she grows.

    My baby is sooo excited about saving money.. she plays store.. and always pays with cpupons.. my husband just shakes his head when she breaks out her coupon book.. haha!!

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  12. Home Ever After
    December 13, 2008 @ 5:33 pm

    @Kati: Thanks for the comment. I also believe it is a learned habit, and I start my kids young with everything. I love that she brings her coupon book – that is so cute!
    Danelle Ice (Homemaker Barbi)

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  13. Home Ever After
    December 13, 2008 @ 5:36 pm

    @Jenny: I agree that if it is just the way things have always been, resistance will be minimal when requiring kids to do their share of the family work. Thanks so much for the input!
    Danelle Ice (Homemaker Barbi)

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  14. Home Ever After
    December 13, 2008 @ 5:40 pm

    The “outsourcing” word came from the title of Steward’s article which is mentioned. I can see how outsourcing could have that implication too. Thanks for the comment!
    Danelle Ice (Homemaker Barbi)

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  15. Home Ever After
    December 13, 2008 @ 5:44 pm

    @Angie: What a great list of chores that you’ve trained your 2 year old to do. I love your comment, “We are trying to instill in him, a good work ethic, along with the desire to help his wife with chores when he is married. He sees his dad help me around the house, and that is such a blessing!” That is such a great way to look at it. Many people don’t realize that training boys for homemaking skills is just as important as teaching girls. Thanks for the input!

    Danelle Ice (Homemaker Barbi)

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  16. Home Ever After
    December 13, 2008 @ 5:48 pm

    @Shynea: I like how you tie the special privileges to the chores, that is a great idea. (lol about the washing machine!) And I agree about releasing responsible men into the world, instead of helpless boys who expect to be taken care of. Thanks for the input!

    Danelle Ice (Homemaker Barbi)

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  17. Home Ever After
    December 13, 2008 @ 5:50 pm

    @Abby: I can see how that would cause a lot of problems. Your mindset with kids and responsibility can really vary by generation, I’ve found. I don’t think your list of chores sounds inappropriate at all for their ages.

    LOL about the queen and servants part – I’m with you on teaching self-sufficiency!
    Danelle Ice (Homemaker Barbi)

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  18. Home Ever After
    December 13, 2008 @ 5:52 pm

    @Holly: (see my comment above about the word “outsourcing”) I like the idea of paying for babysitting, and I also think that is appropriate. And it’s a very true statement about the slippery slope towards bribery. Thanks for the comment!
    Danelle Ice (Homemaker Barbi)

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  19. Home Ever After
    December 13, 2008 @ 5:53 pm

    @Elliott- I hear you about chore money getting axed from the family budget. I’ve heard that from several people. Great idea about getting teens to help with big projects too.
    Danelle Ice (Homemaker Barbi)

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  20. Home Ever After
    December 13, 2008 @ 5:54 pm

    @Angie: I agree that it’s so much easier to start from a young age and just make them learn good habits all along. It really does make a big difference.
    Danelle Ice (Homemaker Barbi)

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  21. InstantAmber
    December 16, 2008 @ 2:41 pm

    Back in the old days children didn’t have a choice. Put em to work!

    Reply

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