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Girls & Modesty: Kids’ Clothes Should NOT Have Sex Appeal

Immodest Child Mini Skort

If you missed the introduction to the Girls & Modesty series, you can read it now: Parents- Say NO to Kids’ Immodest and Trashy Summer Clothes.

Kids’ Clothes Should NOT Have Sex Appeal

If your child’s outfit looks like it could have been worn on America’s Next Top Model, you have big problems, my friend.  Our kids should look like children, not women.  Childhood is short enough already.  There’s no reason at all for children to have “sex appeal” from their clothes.

The picture above might seem extreme, but this an actual photo from Amazon.com showing young girls’ clothes available to buy. 

I have seen outfits very similar to this one (black miniskirt, fishnet tights, and red fishnet top) used as costumes for prostitutes in movies! In fact, if think about the most generic “hooker” outfit you can imagine in a movie, the mini skirt and fishnet stockings probably come to mind first.

Who would want their sweet 9  year old dressed like a streetwalker?  Does a 12 year old need to copy outfits from Lady Gaga or America’s Next Top Model?

When we talk about immodest kids’ clothes, we’re talking about clothes that show way too much skin on a child’s body.  These include halter tops, short shorts (Daisy Dukes) tube tops, skimpy bikinis, mini skirts, and other children’s clothes modeled after adult women’s styles.

The Effects of Dressing Your Child in Revealing Clothes

Dressing your child (or allowing her to dress) in revealing and indecent clothing does your daughter a major disservice.  It  sets her up to think dressing immodestly is the right way to draw attention to herself. 

Showing too much skin is a sure-fire way to get attention from boys and lots of it.  But it won’t be boys who want to date a nice Christian girl, meet her parents, and share common goals and interests.  The boys coming around will be interested in only 1 thing- the thing we don’t want our daughters doing until they’re married.

If a girl child, tween, or teen sends a message out with her clothes that she’s “sexy” or “flirty” or “hot” or “sassy” (words which are even printed on a lot of kids’ and juniors’ size clothes), she is advertising that she is okay with being involved in sexual activity.  Children don’t need to be sexy or even thinking about trying to be appealing to the opposite sex – they need to be playing with toys and using their imaginations.

A Parent’s Job is to Teach Modesty & Purity

It is our job as parents to teach modesty, purity, and correct attitudes about waiting for sex until marriage.  We can’t raise good Christian or non-Christian girls if we don’t teach our daughters how to conduct themselves appropriately in public, and this includes how they dress. 

A reader commented that she was worried that teaching our kids to dress modestly to “be a good girl” or “be a good Christian” might cause them to “grow into women who are ashamed of having sexual feelings”.  This couldn’t be further from the truth if you teach your girls from the beginning that having sex is for married women only and being sexy is ONLY for grown women, and never for kids.  Children never need to be sexy.  That is what we should teach our kids: sex is for the right people (married people only) and being “sexy” is for the right age (adult) in the right situations.

One more huge point is that it is our job to teach our daughters that attention comes to them from their GOD-GIVEN talents and special abilities (like loving science, singing, having compassion, volunteering, or being great at math), not from showing off parts of their bodies that should be covered up.

To illustrate just how bad the young girls’ clothing has gotten, I’ve prepared a list (chock full of photos of real kids’ clothes) of the most immodest and inappropriate children’s clothes you can buy now. 

Stay tuned tomorrow for the shocking photo in our article “Top 6 Most Trashy and Immodest Kids’ Summer Clothes”.

Danelle Ice is an entrepreneur in Los Angeles and mom of 3. She is the creator of HomeEverAfter.com and SimDanelle.com. Danelle is also known as internet personality SimDanelle, the first virtual person. Danelle is a beauty guru on YouTube, vlogger, blogger, and new media darling. She is a current brand ambassador for for Keurig and previous AMD Tech Mom, Kraft Foods Delicious Byte brand ambassador, and Purex Insider.

12 Comments

  1. Tweets that mention Girls & Modesty: Kids’ Clothes Should NOT Have Sex Appeal - Home Ever After -- Topsy.com
    Jun 14, 2010 @ 03:32:38

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by psmom and Kelly Smith, Danelle Ice. Danelle Ice said: HomeEverAfter.com: Girls & Modesty: Kids’ Clothes Should NOT Have Sex Appeal #home #moms [...]

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  2. Ida Davidson
    Jun 14, 2010 @ 09:04:42

    I agree with most of your points here. I’ve got 3 daughters and I don’t want any of them dressing like they just stepped out of a Whitesnake video (dating myself here). However, it’s nothing to do with Christian values. It’s about self respect.

    It’s not about teaching them how to “be a good girl” or “be a good Christian woman”. That sends a very loud message that “being sexy and having sex is wrong and bad” … it doesn’t matter if you append the message to say “until you’re married”, the result is the same… Girls who grow into women who are ashamed of having sexual feelings.

    Reply

  3. Danelle Ice - Home Ever After
    Jun 14, 2010 @ 09:54:49

    @Ida: Whitesnake comes to my mind too- I guess we’re around the same age! I didn’t mean my message to say that sex is bad or that we should teach kids that. I’m saying that we need to teach kids the right place for sex (for married people) and being sexy (only for adults). I clarified the article because I don’t want anyone to think I was saying “sex is bad”. Thanks for the input!

    Danelle

    Reply

  4. Barb
    Jun 14, 2010 @ 17:46:58

    Preach it sister!!!
    I agree 100% with you. :)

    Reply

  5. Angela
    Jun 14, 2010 @ 20:19:20

    I’m not sure that there’s anything that you can do about this, but after I had finished reading this article which I was very interested in, I scrolled back up to the top of the page and saw an ad for greatglam with a line up of VERY immodestly dressed women–all who look like streetwalkers. This was a great article, but I’m glad that my husband and my four sons are not here at the computer with me. You might want to check and see if there’s anything that you can do to control the ads that google puts on your blog. I really did appreciate your article, though!

    Reply

  6. Nessa
    Jun 15, 2010 @ 05:15:01

    I completely agree with this article. Some of the things I see my kid’s class mates wearing completely shocks me! Thankfully my daughter understands our rules about how she should dress.

    Reply

  7. Danelle Ice - Home Ever After
    Jun 15, 2010 @ 07:37:09

    @Angela: I noticed the same thing and am working through Google to get that advertiser banned from our site so their ads won’t be served up. It will hopefully take effect sometime today. You have my apologies – no one should have to look at that!

    Danelle

    Reply

  8. JulieBeth
    Jun 23, 2010 @ 09:47:07

    Great article. I hope you will begin posting on facebook too. One thing you didn’t mention, but may have been said in another part of the series, is that our girls should not dress in an immodest manner because they are causing boys and men to stumble, which is a great sin. It is not just their purity we need to worry about but also those who see them.

    Reply

  9. Angela
    Jun 23, 2010 @ 13:34:17

    Excellent point, JulieBeth! I just finished reading a booklet about a month ago called “Dressed to Kill: Thinking Biblically About Modest and Immodest Clothing.” This pastor made a great point in that, for women to dress immodestly is to be an “accessory” to lust (like the legal definition.) I thought this was a great way to put it. I think that most all women would admit that deep down inside, without the grace of God, we all have a desire to be noticed. While looking attractive is not a sin, we must make sure that we are dressing to please the Lord and not causing men to cast a longing eye our way. (I’m so grateful that our longings to be noticed in that way CAN and SHOULD be fulfilled inside of marriage…what a precious gift from God!) I know that the original article was written in regards to our daughters’ dress, but reminders for us mamas to dress modestly are always helpful to me as well. By God’s grace, I want to be a good example to my daughter. If I don’t dress modestly (and carry myself in a modest manner), she won’t either. Thanks again for a great article, Danelle!

    Reply

  10. Dakota
    May 21, 2011 @ 09:39:00

    I really like this article! My parents have always instilled in me from the beginning that I shouldn’t wear certain types of clothing. As I get a little older (I’m still young), they often say “let me see” before I/we actually walk out of the door. This article is a great reminder to me, that my parents are being obedient, and that they are not trying to frustrate me. This is a good reminder of Whom we are to be ‘swayed’ by.
    Thanks again!
    P.S. I retweeted this from twitter.

    Reply

  11. Danelle Ice - Home Ever After
    May 23, 2011 @ 16:07:18

    @Dakota: Thanks so much for your input! It’s great when the communication between teens and parents works the right way, like in your case. You can see that your parents are helping you to learn the best way instead of just wanting to say no because they have the control. Thanks for the retweet and thanks so much for reading!

    Danelle

    Reply

  12. Children should not be wearing fashion styles meant for adult women - Me Him and The Cats
    Jul 10, 2013 @ 17:04:30

    [...] Modesty: Parents- Say NO to Kids’ Immodest and Trashy Summer Clothes and her other one one  Girls & Modesty: Kids’ Clothes Should NOT Have Sex Appeal       There was a recent festival in the area that we went to as a family.  I cant tell [...]

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